For the Moments I Feel Faint

Over the course of just a couple of weeks, all our lives have been upturned in the wake of COVID-19.  Businesses and schools have closed, people have lost their jobs, and foster agencies have ceased in-person visits.  I have to admit, when I imagined an end of the world situation, it always included frequent, unannounced visits from social workers.  As it turns out, the silence is just as eery.

Now, I jest a little.  This is uncharted territory for all of us, there are new stresses and worries than there were just a few short months ago, but I’m not signing up for a monthly subscription of Apocalypse Now.  God will call me home someday, but until that happens, I’m not boarding up shop prematurely.  We have now.  We have today.  And that’s too important to squander on fear and fatalistic thinking.

So what then?  Well, let me state the obvious: us foster parents are hella resilient.  We’ve seen desperate situations.  We’ve looked into the eyes of children who have endured abuse, hunger, neglect, and all kinds of trauma.  We’ve made the decision to be a rock for the chaotic, moment to moment, survival mentality these kids are in. And our hearts have ached over the uncertainty of the future so. many. times.  Y’all.  We are prepared for this.  We’ve got this.

Let’s do what we’ve always done.  Be a safe place to land for our kids.  Lean on Jesus and fight for joy and peace in your own heart.  We need that inner peace to stay grounded for our children.  So turn off the news.  Get your kids off social media.  Take control of your thoughts by focusing on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  [Phil 4:8]  And “give thanks in all things.”  [1 Thess 5:18a]  It’s hard to despair when your mind is focused on the positive and you’re keeping inventory of the countless ways God has pulled you through in the past.

For me, I wake up each morning and peer over the side of the bassinet next to my bed.  I’m met by my 4-month-old son’s wide eyes and toothless smile.  We weren’t sure we’d ever have another biological child, and here he is.  He’s the biggest chunk and a constant reminder of God’s goodness.  God didn’t need to give us another child, but He did.  And it’s awesome.  Truly, it’s awesome, and I can’t get over it.  From there, I start the morning routines of diaper changes and fixing breakfast for the rest of the kids.  When I’m sitting at the counter with my coffee, looking at all their happy faces, my heart is full.  I just have amazing kids.  God has intervened countless times in each of their lives, and I’m blown away by a God who cares enough to take an active role in our lives.  He hasn’t abandoned us.  He’s still working, just as I’ve witnessed so many, many times before.

These recent events remind me of a song I haven’t listened to since high school but suddenly seems quite relevant.  That song is “For the Moments I Feel Faint” by Relient K.

Never underestimate my Jesus
You’re telling me that there’s no hope
I’m telling you you’re wrong
Never underestimate my Jesus
Cause when the world around you crumbles
He will be strong

Remember, we’ve got this.  More importantly, God’s got this.  We’re going to be alright.