Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  I am sharing an anonymous story from a woman who has experienced both loss and adoption.  Here is her story:

It seems an eternity ago that I sat by the window of our first apartment and drew this dandelion.  In truth, it has only been about 6 years.  My pencil strokes began to form the outline in the fall months of 2013, shortly after we lost our first baby.

As the years passed, new whisps were added to float away on the breeze. One for every child robbed from us by miscarriage.

When adoption brought Brie to us in 2018, I added the ladybug for her and the reference to Psalm 113:9 which says, “He settles the barren woman in a household, making her the joyful mother of children! Hallelujah!”

The drawing had held nothing but heartache for me until that point, and it was so very healing to be able to pick up that pencil to draw in hope and redemption at last!  What a story this simple sketchbook entry tells.
And how blessed we are to have been given this journey, to have loved so many precious children.

When I think of the verse in Matthew 6 about storing up treasures in heaven, I always imagine seven darling, tiny faces that have my eyes and my husband David’s smile.  I imagine tiny little voices lifted in beautiful worship to God, our Father.  I hear them call me mama for the very first time.  Heavenly Treasures to me, indeed. ❤

And our sweet Brie.
God had mercy on my heart and sent her to me.  People have often said she is lucky to have us, lucky that we took her in and adopted her.  But David and I know better.  We are the fortunate ones.  It was me and him who gained and benefitted from her love.  I needed Brie far more than she could ever need me.  She saved me in so many ways.

God has been exceedingly gracious to fill our arms with her sweet and silly snuggles.  Arms that we thought may never be filled, are now busy with the task of raising her.  And I would choose her over and over again.  Time after time.  She was worth the wait.  Worth all it took to get here.



Not that it made our losses good or lessened the value of our heaven-babies.  Because the deaths of seven children who never even had the opportunity to live will never—ever—be a good thing.  It will always be a profound tragedy that words can never describe.  I will always miss them and lament so very, very many unmade memories and all of the unsung lullabies.

But this is a tale of redemption.  It’s a testament to how God can take the ashes of a person’s life and turn it into something beautiful.  He can reposition the wreckage in such a way that will set our future joys up to be appreciated far more deeply.  And more importantly, it points to Him- our hope.  It’s a living testimony of the God who heals and restores.

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day… Although I don’t need a special day to remember them as they are never far from my thoughts, it is always nice to have a day set aside where the rest of our circle can remember them with us, too.  Because there is no footprint so small that it cannot leave a mark on this earth.

If any of my sweet, bereaved friends are struggling with today and all of the sadness it may hold for you, I’m here with you.  And more importantly, God is here—He hasn’t forgotten you.  He is ready to show mercy on your heart.  Hope in Him.

“…The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
—Job 1:21