Resilience

This is the 3rd year I’ve had my own garden on my own land.  Whenever I’m out there, I have such a deep appreciation of God’s creation and provision.  I can do very little and still enjoy a bountiful harvest.  This year I have tomatoes I didn’t plant sprouting up all over the garden, between onions and sharing soil with peppers.  I live in a very cold climate, so it’s amazing to me that the couple heirloom tomatoes I had last summer spread seeds, those seeds endured subzero temperatures throughout the winter, and then they managed to sprout on their own after tilling, raking, and putting black plastic over the soil.  Somehow life always finds a way.

There are a lot of tough and ridiculous things in life.  Last year at this time, I was out in the garden gloomily picking beans and thinking about whether or not to leave my teaching career.  Last year at this time, I was weeks away from our newborn foster daughter arriving and changing everything.  I was on the precipice of a total switch in the direction my life was going.  I just didn’t know it yet.  All I could see was the loss around me and the uncertainty of my future.

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.

Today, I picked a bowl of produce from my garden with a smile on my face, stepped back inside to my husband, son, and foster daughter in a “giggly time” as my son would say, and when the laughter subsided, I rocked that little girl to sleep.  This is the future I couldn’t have imagined a year ago.

It hasn’t been easy.  The future is as uncertain as ever, but it’s been worth it.  She’s worth it.  Despite all the weeds, there is always hope, always life pushing forward.  Looking back, I’m glad I finally gathered the courage to step out into the unknown.  There was a beautiful little girl waiting for us there.